I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
