he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
