I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
