the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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