That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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