I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
