I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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