At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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