I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
a search helicopter?!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
