did you get engaged???
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
