my mouth tastes like poor choices
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me