Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose

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(262): Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose http://tfl.nu/nksk

Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (1126)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?

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(202): so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis? http://tfl.nu/6d0w

Replies (7) Good night (819) Bad night (493)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I CAN MOONWALK!

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(203): I CAN MOONWALK! http://tfl.nu/d76i

Replies (5) Good night (2010) Bad night (554)
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(720): View more from Colorado

It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.

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(720): It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love. (920): You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit. http://tfl.nu/9jaf

Replies (26) Good night (1175) Bad night (2750)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

There's a dead frog in my kitchen?

(402): View more from Nebraska

Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.

(402): View more from Nebraska

The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"

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(828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen? (402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush. (402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" http://tfl.nu/9htk

Replies (34) Good night (2089) Bad night (4636)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin

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(203): Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin http://tfl.nu/pqe0

Replies (26) Good night (5149) Bad night (1207)
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(613): View more from Ontario

it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole

(1-613): View more from Ontario

im not talking about this

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(613): it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole (1-613): im not talking about this http://tfl.nu/ufkd

Replies (10) Good night (984) Bad night (3522)
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(312): View more from Illinois

i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.

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(312): i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it. http://tfl.nu/r7km

Replies (12) Good night (5942) Bad night (1032)
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(541): View more from Oregon

To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

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(541): To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever. http://tfl.nu/9nwk

Replies (7) Good night (944) Bad night (3358)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock

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(803): Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock http://tfl.nu/bp8m

Replies (8) Good night (642) Bad night (2522)
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(473): View more from Grenada-Carib

Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.

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(473): Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year. http://tfl.nu/y5js

Replies (11) Good night (2402) Bad night (988)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

eta to your mouth 5 minutes

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(501): eta to your mouth 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/vxef

Replies (6) Good night (1264) Bad night (466)
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(734): View more from Michigan

When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out

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(734): When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out http://tfl.nu/vrth

Replies (5) Good night (797) Bad night (1364)
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(559): View more from California

It was like die hard. Except with more penises.

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(559): It was like die hard. Except with more penises. http://tfl.nu/fa39

Replies (5) Good night (857) Bad night (481)
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(562): View more from California

Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.

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(562): Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning. http://tfl.nu/rdpv

Replies (0) Good night (405) Bad night (305)

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