Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds

  (404): View more from Georgia

  She started it, but I totally finished it.

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  (404): A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds (404): She started it, but I totally finished it. http://tfl.nu/luqt
  Replies (6) Good night (3493) Bad night (552)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...

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  (502): if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings... http://tfl.nu/axpi
  Replies (16) Good night (3307) Bad night (539)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.

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  (306): We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/ti46
  Replies (13) Good night (3257) Bad night (1044)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.

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  (309): I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head. (309): "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night. http://tfl.nu/9065
  Replies (62) Good night (9018) Bad night (839)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon

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  (561): I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon http://tfl.nu/z2jl
  Replies (21) Good night (4821) Bad night (532)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.

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  (512): I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah. http://tfl.nu/atyf
  Replies (22) Good night (4609) Bad night (786)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.

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  (248): When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal. http://tfl.nu/vbhe
  Replies (24) Good night (7779) Bad night (1316)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.

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  (918): See, not all bad decisions involve my penis. http://tfl.nu/lbts
  Replies (5) Good night (2988) Bad night (772)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day

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  (303): I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day http://tfl.nu/oxlv
  Replies (2) Good night (2340) Bad night (820)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,

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  (425): No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America, http://tfl.nu/18wd
  Replies (10) Good night (3966) Bad night (1151)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.

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  (732): i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up. http://tfl.nu/3kb7
  Replies (21) Good night (4335) Bad night (1105)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally

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  (403): Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally http://tfl.nu/hf6w
  Replies (1) Good night (1599) Bad night (580)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.

  (909): View more from California

  Whaaaaaat? No way.

  (206): View more from Washington

  Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.

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  (206): The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag. (909): Whaaaaaat? No way. (206): Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier. http://tfl.nu/t9qj
  Replies (16) Good night (531) Bad night (1876)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you

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  (406): Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you http://tfl.nu/uju1
  Replies (4) Good night (838) Bad night (253)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.

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  (623): Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God. http://tfl.nu/6yhq
  Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (272)

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