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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  it was like his penis was on wheels.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit

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• (207): View more from Maine

  So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.

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