Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize