Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
