Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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