I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
