It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Drake has all the answers
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
