I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
