...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
