This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
