you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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