East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
