So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
