he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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