A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize