I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
