people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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