Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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