Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
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I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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