Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
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Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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