She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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