she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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