just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
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his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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