i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
And then he peed in my hair
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