did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
