So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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