remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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