Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
