I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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