Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize