Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
