That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
