dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
