yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
