I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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