I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
