Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize