Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
