So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize