This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
