what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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