Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
