in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
