i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
