you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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