i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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