i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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