How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Couch. On fire.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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