But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
